05.06.09

People That Use Their Brakes Too Often

Posted in People at 9:24 am by bsdman

You know what grinds my gears? It’s people that hit their brakes too often.

thecarsbrakelights

I know – it sure beats the alternative of people not hitting their brakes often enough, but there has to be some sort of happy medium. And for 93.25% of the people out there, we’ve found it. It’s that other 6.75% that screw it up for everyone else.

I happened to be following a Beige-Gold GMC Sierra Van the other day. On a road that is approximately 2.46 miles long and has 2 stop signs. Guess what? They hit their brakes 27 times. They also stopped at both stop signs. TWENTY NINE FUCKING TIMES! I wanted to stab them. With my car. Repeatedly.

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Another vehicle, on another trip, was driving exactly the speed limit with no ability to pass. I’m not a big fan of people driving the exact speed limit, but it doesn’t really matter too much in the long run. However, this person was tapping their brakes at EVERY road and sign. That would drop their speed from “exactly the speed limit” to “significantly less than the speed limit”. With a such modern marvels known as “the internet”, “GPS”, “Maps”, “phones”, and “common sense”, do we really have to stop at every road to see if it’s what we wanted? Or if we pass our road is it game-over? Do you not realize that if you’ve gone past your destination you can ACTUALLY TURN AROUND AND GO BACK??? Oh that’s right, no one has “common sense” anymore. Jerkasses.

The third vehicle I must mention is the vehicle that was constantly on the brakes. At first I thought the vehicle had an issue – some sort of short in the electrical system that forced the brake lights to stay lit. Nope, after spending some time behind the vehicle on the highway (yes, the highway doing 65 mph +) I could smell the faint hint of burning brakes. And after I ended up passing said car the smell went away. So, if you can picture this, a vehicle driving down the highway at 65+ with the gas AND brake pedals both pressed to varying degrees. Killing the gas mileage and your vehicle in one fell swoop.

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Brakes are there to stop your vehicle. Brake lights are there to inform people behind you that you are slowing down/stopping your vehicle. So stop being assholes.

And that’s what grinds my gears.

04.24.09

Dicks with Cars

Posted in People at 9:38 am by bsdman

You know what grinds my gears? It’s dicks that own cars.

Before you say that I’m just jealous of what other people drive I have to say that I’m only complaining HOW they drive, not WHAT they drive.

spotted_dick475

I was driving down the highway the other day when an ’05 Porsche Carrera GT creeps up to the side of my ride. I was about to give a giant thumbs up to the driver (it is a nice car) when the douche pops the clutch down a few gears and flies by me. Like “beating” my car was something worthy of an award.

Don’t get me wrong – my car has decent specs: 5 speed manual, 320 ponies on tap, 335 lb/ft of twisting torque, and a weight of around 3500lbs. But a Carrera GT has 605HP, 435lb/ft, and weighs a paltry 3050lbs. Oh yeah, and it cost 410 THOUSAND DOLLARS MORE THAN MY CAR.

old_money

So why do people race cars that they know don’t stand a chance? To make themselves feel better? If I were to race a minivan and win, it wouldn’t make me feel good. I’d feel like an asshat. If I were to race a car that is very similar to mine or even slightly better and win, then it would make me feel good.

The Porsche driver may as well race against parked cars. I can hear it now: “Yippe, I’ve won again!!”.

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And that’s what grinds my gears.

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