11.30.09

People Who Can’t Flush

Posted in People at 3:41 pm by bsdman

You know what grinds my gears? It’s people who can’t flush a toilet.

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Being a guy, this is completely a guy’s perspective – so if you have any qualms keep that in mind. The men’s room is a dirty place. Guys pee. Everywhere. We rarely clean up. It’s gross.

dirty-toilet

There is the mentality of “if it’s already dirty, why should I make [i]any[/i] effort in maintaining a clean standard?” Well, perhaps it’s because you need to lead by example.

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I went to the men’s room today and there was someone talking on their cell phone in a toilet stall. I won’t even go into how absurd it is to talk on the phone while in the bathroom, but this guy did the following:

Pissed in the toilet
Walked to the sink
Ran the water over his hands for 3 seconds with no soap
Opened the door to the bathroom with his wet hand

Am I the only one disgusted by that? Flush the God-Damned toilet!

And that’s what grinds my gears.

09.30.09

Driving While Phoning

Posted in People at 10:18 am by bsdman

You know what grinds my gears? It’s people that drive while using a phone.

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DWP I call it. I think it’s actually just as bad as a DWI/DUI. Some call it DWC (calling) or DWT (talking), but it all adds up to the same thing: a distracted driver.

I was following a lady in a new(er) VW Jetta in bumper to bumper traffic the other day. She always took too long to start going after traffic would move. I say “too long” because the lane next to us would frequently dive bomb into our lane, just ahead of Jetta driver. If you have ever tried to drive downtown Chicago you’ll know what I’m talking about – if you’re too passive you end up not moving at all as taxis and other drivers will take advantage of your lack of driving skills.

Not only would this lady take forever to start going, she’d leave 18 car lengths between her and the vehicle in front of her. I don’t mind the gap too much, but we were moving at a mind blowing 10mph. It’s not that she was leaving too much of a gap, but it’s the reason for the gap that annoyed me: texting and talking on the cell phone.

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What got me even more – as I was passing this Jetta driving baffoon – is that she would be slowing down via hitting the brakes WHILE LOOKING DOWN AT HER CELL PHONE. WTF!

Some might call me a sexist here, but I’ve found that the ladies drive much worse than the guys. I used to agree with the insurance companies on that too. Guys used to drive much worse than ladies, but the females are putting on make-up, talking on the phone, dancing in their car, or changing clothes – all WHILE THEY SHOULD BE DRIVING!

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Now some might call me a racist, but I assure you that I own a color TV. Haha – actually I hate everyone roughly the same amount, so go screw yourselves. The worse offenders and the reasoning:
1.) Really young people and really old people – The ones that don’t know any better versus the ones that know better but can’t physically command a moving vehicle any longer. They’re both a danger to society, but the problem is that the old people vote and thus command the respect of lawmakers and insurance companies. Crappy econo-boxes or Buick/Caddys. Worst drivers out there.
2.) Black Females – this group purposely drives recklessly because they think it’s their right to do whatever they want and drive however they want. If they want to turn left from the right turn lane of a 16 lane highway, by God they’ll somehow make it over there whether or not you want to let them through. They almost always drive a Chrysler or Dodge product, and most likely it has some “battle damage” on the body.
3.) Asian Females – this group just doesn’t know how to drive. They never learned how to drive and so they accidentally cut you off over and over again. These are the people that will slam on their brakes because they missed their street and then spend the next 20 seconds wondering what to do about it. They almost always drive in some sort of Japanese vehicle, but not the high end “luxury” ones.
4.) Indian Men and Women – this group has the best features of both the Black AND Asian Females. These are the people that will reverse their car on the highway because they missed their exit. They drive too slowly in the fast lanes, they drive too fast in the slow lanes, they never signal, and they almost always drive Honda minivans, 90’s and early 00’s Toyota Corollas, and Nissans.
5.) Mexican Men – Most of my experiences with this group have ended badly. They drive too slowly, never signal when turning, try to turn from the wrong lane, pull out in front of oncoming cars and barely hit the gas, and have poorly running (ie exhaust smelly, pieces flying off) vehicles. They almost always drive Chevy and Ford trucks/SUVs full of people/things.
6.) White Females – this group follows along with the other female groups in that they don’t know how to drive. Well, more specifically, they don’t know how to ONLY drive. They attempt to multitask like their lives depend on it. They always assume that they can drive better than anyone else no matter what they’re doing – I’m actually surprised no white woman has ever tried to access the trunk whilst driving – and they will try to make you pay if you invade their “personal space” while driving.
7.) Everyone else – this group is everyone else. It includes all the good and bad drivers not listed above. Yes, there are some good drivers out there, but the majority of us just plain suck.

There was a study conducted, not too long ago, that concluded driving is much less safe if another driver is distracted. They actually compared drunk driving to texting while driving and also to driving while tired. The end result? Driving while texting or on the phone yielded just as many accidents as drunk driving percentage-wise. So for every 100 drunk drivers, they might cause 15 accidents. And for every 100 texting drivers, they may cause 14 accidents. Sleepy drivers? They only caused 6 accidents.

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So stop driving while texting or phoning. You will cause an accident. Honestly, if someone slammed into me and I found out they were texting, I should have the right to beat them to death with a shovel. Why a shovel? I like the *clang* sound over the *thud* of a baseball bat.

And that’s what grinds my gears.

***EDIT***

It just dawned on me how we can help curb this habit: Insurance companies.

Think about it – insurance companies make those with bad medical conditions pay higher premiums, so why not make those who text while driving pay higher premiums? I know, you’re going to ask how they prove it – if the claimant is involved in a crash the insurance company can see what their phone was doing. If they were texting *BAM* all out of pocket expenses. Any takers?

Oh, and it still grinds my gears.

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