$wpsc_version = 169; What Grinds My Gears » 2009 » April


Dicks with Cars

Posted in People at 9:38 am by bsdman

You know what grinds my gears? It’s dicks that own cars.

Before you say that I’m just jealous of what other people drive I have to say that I’m only complaining HOW they drive, not WHAT they drive.


I was driving down the highway the other day when an ’05 Porsche Carrera GT creeps up to the side of my ride. I was about to give a giant thumbs up to the driver (it is a nice car) when the douche pops the clutch down a few gears and flies by me. Like “beating” my car was something worthy of an award.

Don’t get me wrong – my car has decent specs: 5 speed manual, 320 ponies on tap, 335 lb/ft of twisting torque, and a weight of around 3500lbs. But a Carrera GT has 605HP, 435lb/ft, and weighs a paltry 3050lbs. Oh yeah, and it cost 410 THOUSAND DOLLARS MORE THAN MY CAR.


So why do people race cars that they know don’t stand a chance? To make themselves feel better? If I were to race a minivan and win, it wouldn’t make me feel good. I’d feel like an asshat. If I were to race a car that is very similar to mine or even slightly better and win, then it would make me feel good.

The Porsche driver may as well race against parked cars. I can hear it now: “Yippe, I’ve won again!!”.


And that’s what grinds my gears.