03.25.09

Police

Posted in People at 12:08 pm by bsdman

You know what grinds my gears? It’s the police.

cop_car

No, not the band. They had some pretty good stuff back in the day. Although that Sting sure does… nevermind.

I was recently pulled over by one of the law’s finest for absolutely no reason. I mean, it’s not like I’m DWB or something.

Here’s how it went down:
Left my Woman’s place of residence Sunday at around 9:45PM.
Drove roughly 1/2 mile down a main road (6 lane road) driving 42MPH in a 40MPH zone in the right most lane.
Notice a police car driving the opposite direction in the opposite set of lanes in the left most lane.
As soon as I pass the police car, he pulls a U-Turn.
Approach a red light, so I do the ‘nice’ thing and move to the center lane so he can turn right on red.
Stop at the red light.
Light turns green, I slowly make my way forward (stress slowly here). Police car doesn’t move.
After I’m through the intersection, the police car drives forward, then switches lanes behind me.
Another half mile down the road he flips his lights on. I change lanes to the right lane, then pull into a gas station.
I then turn off the car, and since my e-brake sticks I put the car in gear.
Police man comes up to my window and asks for my drivers license and proof of insurance. I hand him both things.
About a minute later another police car shows up and boxes me in so I can’t ‘escape’.
Five or so minutes later the police man comes back to my window and hands my stuff back.
Cop: “Well, there’s nothing wrong, but I pulled you over because you have a burned out license plate light”
Me: “Oh, really?”
Cop: “You should get that fixed”
Me: “Yeah, I’ll get right on that…”
Cop: “Have a good evening”
Me: “Yeah”

douche

Thanks for wasting 10+ minutes of my life just because you wanted to pull my car over. Jerkass, no way in hell you could see a burned out bulb IN THE REAR OF THE CAR FROM THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. Fucktard. That, and it takes two cops to pull me over? Maybe you two have the burned out bulbs.

ist2_433688-broken-red-light-bulb

Waste of tax dollars anyone?

03.10.09

People Who Tailgate

Posted in People at 7:50 am by bsdman

You know what grinds my gears? It’s people who tailgate.

Actually, I thought of one better: it’s people who fly up behind you and then tailgate. I speed. I freely admit it. In residential areas I’ll do the obligatory 5mph over the posted limit. On main roads it’s 5 to 10. Highways 10 to 20. Interstate? Don’t ask. So I speed.

480px-speed_limit_55_signsvg

I also have a habit of accelerating rather quickly from a stop. I don’t like to dilly dally around – I want to be where I’m going as quickly as possible, but also as safe as I can be. I’m not a jerk that changes lanes every 2 seconds trying to get ahead of other cars. No sir. I also usually do not tailgate.

15531legend_burn_out

Yes, there have been some instances when a “little close” calms my nerves: if someone is driving 10 under the posted limit, in the left lane, and there’s no one ahead of said slow-poke. Although I also like to get a running start before passing people – even though my automobile does not require it. That way I can fly past people. Buffers are good! Let me say it again: buffers are good!

If someone is driving slow, they probably suck at driving (well, almost all people do, but you get the point). They might stop randomly, or turn without signaling, or hit a tree. You just don’t know. Leaving stopping distance is a must. Car in front of you slams on their brakes and you hit them. It’s now your fault. Good job, asshole.

Just today I had a lady in an SUV (death waiting to happen) behind me. She wanted to drive fast. Late for work? Get up earlier tomorrow.

267_oley_suv_crash_killed_51

So anyway, I was driving 37ish in a 30 zone. Right on my butt. I mean, all I could see were her headlights. And that she was on the phone. Don’t get me started about that. Shove it up your ass.

I stop at a stop sign, then proceed to accelerate quickly to 37 again. She rolls the stop sign and is up on my butt again within 3 or 4 seconds. Seriously? WTF is that about? Yeah, that really makes me want to drive faster. If anything, I will drive more slowly.

pic_tailgaters_beware

I did what any jerk would do – I slowed down to 31ish. She didn’t get the hint.

If I slow down and they back off, I’ll speed back up again. If not… I can drive even slower than that. Trust me.

And that’s what grinds my gears.

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