12.19.08

SPAM

Posted in Things at 2:57 pm by bsdman

You know what grinds my gears?  It’s SPAM.

SPAM is one of those things that everyone knows – but if you’re one of the people who doesn’t I will post a few examples:

Email:
From: me
To: me
Subject: LowPrice Pharmacy, 10pills CailisY=$38, 10pills ViagraL=$33, 10pills Levitr=$56, over 35,000 satisfied customers purchased from us mnuvsw h03
Body: [various links]
rqen6ya 322kdlg jezb 9lxb z415ey y4v73gb p9h q77yuhh7 ybip apvrsf 6d114uy

Or on this blog I get more SPAM:
Name: balabo3_jm | Email: balabo3_gk@funkytimes.com | URI: http://index3.ruterta.ru | IP: 67.69.254.245
http://index4.supergerta.ru >fergie london bridge ????????? http://index2.ruterta.ru >iru 1214 ??????????? ??????? http://index1.ruterta.ru >111 ???? ??? ???????? ? ?????????????? http://index6.ruterta.ru >10 ??????? ?????????? ????? http://index4.ruterta.ru >iris ?????? manual ru

cisco

Yeah, like I’m really going to click on those links.  My favorite are the emails that actually have no links and just jumbled words in the body.  I just read a report from Cisco that says 17.2% of all email SPAM comes from the United States of America.  Good old US of A.  The next closest is Turkey, which has a 9.2% market share.  Yay US.

Even stranger is the comments that are just crap:
fBZ9p3 hko9E3dnVxga1jOps
What’s the point?

Instead of spelling everything incorrectly and trying to sell everyone Penis Biggerizers, maybe the SPAMMERS could all get together and learn a business model or two.  I can just imagine that meeting:

“Wait, so people don’t want to buy pills from a SPAM source?  Johnson, why didn’t you tell me earlier???  I thought people like when we send out billions of unsolicited emails every day”.  Fuckers.

moron

At work, 33% of all of our emails are high rated SPAM (score of 8 or higher).  Thirty-three freakin percent.  In a year, that equates to roughly 850,000 emails.  We block all those too.  There’s probably another 5 to 10 thousand that, while are still SPAM, somehow make it through all the filters.

As a consultant at a financial institution, we had almost 80% of our mail listed as high SPAM (8 or higher).  And there we saw 43,680,000 a year.  That’s 43 million SPAM emails every year.  AAAAAAAhhhhhhh!  NOBODY WANTS TO BUY YOUR SHITTING TONERS, PHARMACEUTICALS, OR CORPORATE STOCKS!!!

And that’s what grinds my gears.

12.03.08

Comcast, Dish, and ATT Advertisements

Posted in People, Things at 7:30 pm by bsdman

You know what grinds my gears? It’s all the stupid commercials from ATT, Comcast, and the Dish network. I mean, people actually get paid to come up with this stuff? Not only are they not creative, they’re downright annoying.

It doesn’t matter if I currently use Comcast for my TV, Phone, and bookie already. I’ll still end up seeing Comcast commercials interrupt my otherwise enjoyable TV watching experience. Same goes for the other two – trust me I’ve seen television shows on all three providers.

In alphabetical order and why they grind my gears:
ATT – I see more ATT vs Comcast commercials than even political ads. That’s a hard feat to accomplish. The bad thing with ATT commercials is that they’re somewhat creative, but are so overplayed that I end up wanting to gouge my eyes out with a spork.

Notice this is a 4 prong spork and not an immitation 3 pronger.

Comcast – That guy talking drives me nuts. If I met him in a bar downtown I’d be kicked out for sure. But not before I smash something glass against his head. Oh I get the commercials just fine – Comcast says that you’d do anything to keep the comcast service. Bullshit. And get a new spokesperson. Not to be sexist or anything, but if you had a hot chick talking I’d be more inclined to not feel like vomiting.

Dish – You’ve really got nothing I want. Satellite is horrible in the different weather we get. When I want to actually watch TV (raining out) I can’t because there’s no signal. ATT has the uverse, Comcast has the cable, you have OHMYGODIHOPEITISNOTRAINING. That’s a technical term too. And your Frank “the ass” commedian isn’t really funny. He’s a tool – a tool with his own TV show. Joke!

ATT:

Comcast:

Dish:

All made by people that earn more than you do. Go figure.

And that’s what grinds my gears.

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